So the word on the street is Sephiroth caused this old shitstorm, and is dead.  I don't buy it.  You can't have it both ways.  If he's powerful enough to wreck this much shit across this whole goddamn island, then he ain't about to die to some random monster.  'Course, if he didn't cause all this then I could totally buy it.  I say people should just make up their goddamn minds.

But I ain't got time to dwell on that, I  got more immediate issues.  Seems the Cloud of Darkness and her 'organisation' means business, and have started invadin' our territory in Calamity.  We lost a few Choques, and a few have returned injured.  They ain't too impressed.  Luckily Hope was able to heal 'em up because they were his bros or somethin', but right now we're shiftin' priorities from tradin' goods to defense.  I got the Choques workin' on settin' up a perimeter, and Rikku's buildin' us a few defense machina to guard stuff.  We ain't losing our new home.


( Those not affiliated with Cloud of Darkness )

Well, I guess y'all have been hearin' about this new Internet 'sellers' business that's been set up by the Cloud of Darkness.  Well, anybody with half a brain knows that it's one of them pyramid scheme scams!  

If you're really lookin' to better the community, join me instead.  I won't tie any of ya down with any contracts or legally bindin' crap - especially when there really ain't no law out there to speak of.  Besides, Cloud of Darkness can SEND YOU TO THE FRIGGIN' VOID! You really want that loomin' over you?  One breach of contract or refusal to do somethin' crazy she asks and there ain't gonna be no trace you even existed.  

The great Jecht, on the other hand, rewards you with funds equivalent to your contribution.  Wanna work all day?  You'll be rewarded nicely.  Only wanna do a little each day?  That's fine too.  Ya won't get as much, but fair's fair, right?  Besides, we're the ones with the leverage to REALLY make a difference.  Ain't many mechanics as good as Rikku, and we'll keep ya safe.  Faris on lookout, Hope & Choques on fiend patrol, we got it all.  

And if you're real nice (and smokin' hot), then maybe I'll take you out in my new motor, heh heh!  Ain't she a beaut?

Calamity's gonna be the new capital of this world.  I can feel it happenin', all thanks to me!  Our numbers are slowly risin', and now we got Mira joinin' the party, and Hope still on his way.  It's been a couple days and he left before Mira, so I dunno if he got lost or killed or somethin'.  He can't be any more of a sissy than my boy, and HE managed to save a goddamn planet.  Sorta.  Actually scratch that, Yuna and Auron did most of the work.

Rikku's been workin' hard, and we got some nice gear here for sale.  2 kettles, a toaster, and an industrial fan.  Essential for this hot weather.  Who wants to make a trade?

Well, shit.  The best bar in Calamity's gone.  Hell, Calamity itself is pretty much gone.  There was this friggin' HUGE earthquake, and 'cus most of Calamity's building work was done on the cheap, there ain't much left anymore.  On the upside, I ain't dead, and I'm just kinda swimming through rubble and other old crap, makin' my way to what used to be the rich area.

Y'know why? 'Cus IM THE GREAT JECHT!  And Jecht don't give a damn if the world ends.  No matter what happens, I'll turn it into an opportunity, 'cus that's how I roll.


( People who are comfortable with 'morally grey' only: )

Somebody up there must really hate me.  Or rather he fears my success.  I ain't really surprised; since I came here I got immortality, I'm already practically a demigod in strength, I'm STILL the best goddamn blitz player ever to walk the worlds.  I'm just a little omnipotence away from being the God of the Chaos World!

So I guess that must be why my progress got screwed up a bit by some BIG FUCKIN' BALL OF FIRE!  Hell, I'm just glad I heard that thing comin' - I got the hell outta the mall to watch my beloved blitz stadium just evaporate.  Also the mall below it got totally wrecked, but that's not so important.  The important thing is my goddamn stadium/sports store is gone, and now the world's gonna suffer as a result.  Who's gonna entertain 'em?  Who's gonna sell 'em high quality sports gear?  Who's gonna make sure everyone stays fit?

Mark my words, this world is gonna get obese til this mess is fixed.  I'll find NORG later.  In the meantime, I'm going back to Calamity for a night of hard drinkin' and violent sex.  That oughta set my mind straight!

Today I was just goin' on a break, mindin' my own business, gettin' some juice so I could stare at Yunalesca's fine ass, when I bumped into Sephiroth.  Well I might've bumped into him, but I reckon it was his fault.  It just had to be.  Well, it's just as well I wear some armour on my left arm, 'cause he attacked me with a friggin' kitchen knife!  Lucky for me it just bounced right off the metal platin', but jeez man!  I thought we were cool!  Not friendly by any means, but cool.  Even if you are a girly man.  Whatever.


The whole thing got me thinkin' though.  What if I'm losin' popularity in the mall?  Back in the old mall I was king, I was the richest, sexiest, toughest motherfucker in the whole damn joint.  Here, I'm just a sexy manager.  I ain't even got a blitz pool open yet.  Hmm, maybe that's why.  I need to take action!  I need to get myself known again!  I can't fade into obscurity, if people forget me then what's the goddamn point, right?  We need blitzball!  We need fightin'!  And I need an orgy with a harem of girls!



Any girls out there wanna get down with the manliest guy around?  I'm big in all the right places!  Really!  Girls?

This is an awesome opportunity!  With the blitz pool just about complete, we're gonna be needing lots of water to fill that thing up!  And let me tell ya, getting enough fresh water to fill that thing to the brim is expensive, so we gotta take every chance we can to cut corners.  And whaddya know?  Fresh water on tap, 24/7!  I raided the janitor's closets and managed to grab a few dozen buckets, so I've got my employees runnin' around laying buckets down, and quickly tossing 'em in the pool when they're full!  2 buckets per person each trip, it's pretty damn efficient!  Gonna take a LOT of buckets to get this thing filled, but if we can even get it halfway, or even a quarter filled by the end of the week we'll be doin' good!  

I just wish that goddamn Illua chick wouldn't keep going AWOL on me.  I don't care what she did before - here she's workin' for me, and I say she starts hauling some goddamn buckets!

And I'm recruitin'!  If you think you got what it takes to work for me, the most successful and awesome guy at the mall, then don't be too pussy to sign up.  (Hint:  If you think you're too pussy to sign up, you ain't qualified).  The blitzball stadium ain't ready yet, but that don't mean the pool maintenance position ain't available!  Hell, it's already bein' taken up by some guy I ain't ever heard of before.  I hope he can oversee stadium construction well, else I'm gonna have to kick his ass and dock his pay.

For all those who are wonderin' who they might replace if they apply and are more qualified, here's the roster.  I also took this as a good opportunity to get rid of Penelo.  Damn she got on my nerves.  I think she was tryin' to act all... uh... tsundere and shit.  Anyway, it don't work if you ain't all that attractive to begin with.  

Store Clerk - Elena
Gym Instructor - Dio
Pool Maintenence - Basch 

Seriously, someone replace Dio.  I swear people'll start to think I'm gay if he hangs around too long.

I figured all you awesome people who are smart enough to follow me on livejournal should be the first to know the good news.  I, The Great Jecht, am gonna be openin' a new sports emporium at the new mall!  Jecht's Sublimely Magnificent Sports Emporium VII!  Yes, I know, you can't wait to see just how goddamn brilliant it's gonna be and how it'll surpass the number IV, but I ain't gonna spill my business secrets for everyone right here!  You'll just have to wait and see!

I bet y'all are wonderin' what happened to 5 and 6?  Well, 5 never really got finished.  It was gonna be built in Great Mallboro, and I'd contracted a few of you guys to fix it up for me.  The damn world got reset before it had its grand openin'.  As for number 6, there was another time loop that none of y'all seem to remember but me.  True story.

Hell yeah!  Back in the Chaos World!  Me and Terra made it over here with her barely managin' to keep her hands off me.  I kept tellin' her it was fine, we were married and everythin', but she wasn't havin' it.  Nevermind, one day she'll crave a real man and she'll come runnin' to her husband for some sweet and kinky lovin' heh heh!  Maybe I better keep all the whips and stuff away for the first time though, if she's a virgin.  Some girls are born likin' that kinda stuff, and the rest can be taught to, heh heh!

Anyway, I'm thinkin' about where to live right now.  From where I'm sittin', Calamity seems my cup of tea.  I never lose, and the only way for an entrepreneur of my calibre is up!  Terra has other plans, mind.  She don't agree with the whole treadin' over everyone to be rich thing.  She's more torn between that mage place and that place full of philanthropic losers.